Remember when you got married and your in-laws said all those nice things about gaining a new member of the family? Now that you're getting a divorce, it's hard to know what exactly will happen to that relationship with your spouse's parents. If you never really saw eye to eye, it might seem like a relief to be saying goodbye to those extra family members. But even if you and your in-laws got along famously, there's no telling how the dinner tables might turn.

Divorce can leave everyone confused about how to feel, and your spouse's parents are no exception. Even if they loved you as one of their own children, they're highly likely to take the side of, well, one of their own children. You might feel snubbed or rejected, but understand their position. It's their duty as parents to come to your soon-to-be ex's defense. Instead of focusing on the negatives of this changing relationship, take the time to establish your own boundaries and expectations for future interactions.

How can you go about doing this? Start by simply spending less time with them. If you weren't close or didn't get along, this will be easy. But if you're used to talking on the phone with your in-laws and accepting their invitations, back off slowly, perhaps by telling them you need time and distance to process the divorce. Eventually the relationship will naturally loosen and you'll feel less obligated to remain in touch.

If you have children, this can be much harder to do, but the choices are still up to you. If your ex-in-laws (or outlaws, as you may call them) want to see the kids on your custody days, by all means let them if you're OK with it. You can also leave their visits up to your ex, specifying that it's best if they arrange to spend time together when your former spouse has the kids. If you have full custody, though, be sure to give your children time with their grandparents, rather than deprive them to get back at your ex. Remember to consider what's truly best for your children. If they want grandma and grandpa at their birthday party, any animosity you have shouldn't get in the way.

Whether your former in-laws express sympathy or disappointment toward you in the wake of the divorce, remember to be respectful and friendly, and do your best to establish clear boundaries. Realize that the divorce may be hard on them and affect their behavior, and avoid speaking negatively about your ex, no matter what. You may be getting a divorce, but their son or daughter is theirs for life.

Source: Huffington Post, "From In-laws To Outlaws," Allison Pescosolido and Andra Brosh, Dec. 23, 2011