In an earlier post this week, we discussed the struggles that divorced families can face during the holidays and ways to keep things not just civil, but positive and healthy.

In addition to being consistent with scheduling and showing respect for the child's other parent, it's important to strike a balance between being enthusiastic and maintaining a routine when it comes to visitation. It's OK to be excited about the visit, but resist the urge to spoil your child, which could lead to more battles over loyalty and put undue stress on him. If it's a regular, non-holiday weekend, help both your ex and your child by making sure homework gets done. A household chore or two can add some needed structure, too.

When the weekend is over, parents should resist the urge to grill their children about their ex. It's fine to ask about the time they spent with their mom or dad. But resist the urge to spy on your former spouse and search for flaws in his parenting technique. Remember that now that you're divorced, unless it clearly affects your children, what he does is his own business.

This can be especially hard if you're still raw from the divorce and are struggling with your feelings about it. But keep in mind there are probably better people to spill your emotions to besides your children, who have their own problems with the divorce. Piling yours onto them will only cause confusion and anxiety.

Perhaps your communication problems with your ex stem from long before you divorced. Even if this type of cooperation is a brand new strategy for you both, it is doable with hard work. Make it an early New Year's resolution to get along and work together for the sake of your children -- it may be the best holiday gift you can give them.

Source: ABC Action News, "Peace on Earth, good will toward the ex," Rod Lockwood, Dec. 8, 2011